


Anything For You

by ryanstorm



Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Blood and Injury, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Major Character Injury, Self-Harm, Vampires
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-04
Updated: 2017-09-04
Packaged: 2018-12-23 14:58:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11992134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ryanstorm/pseuds/ryanstorm
Summary: Ryan is a vampire and Brendon is a human. An innocent car ride ends in Ryan having to make the most important decision of his life.





	Anything For You

"Red one," Brendon chimes from the passenger seat as he mindlessly licks his melting ice cream. Ryan usually never touches his cone, just saves if for Brendon when he's finished his. Brendon always pesters Ryan about him not even eating a little, but it's not a big deal. Ryan never has a craving for them anyways. It's just that it's become habit that they always go out for ice cream every Friday when Ryan returns home from work. 

Ryan always buys two, one just feels too lonely. He never wants Brendon to feel lonely.

Ryan peels his eyes from his New York Times to look at the boy sitting on his right. A smile splays on his lips as he watches the scene play out in front of him. Brendon sitting cross legged in the seat next to his, eyes filled with gleam like that of a young boy and ice cream dribbles down his hand, too distracted by the pink sunset to care. 

Ryan could never imagine losing this.  
Losing him.

He just shakes his head, but grows anxious as a sudden craving of his own begins to naw at his stomach, demanding attention. He shakes it off though, becoming quite skilled at doing so after living with a human for as many years as he has. Putting aside his own needs for the boy he loves. The boy he was forbidden to love.

Ryan folds the news paper and tosses it aside, shifting the car into gear and heading towards the glowing aura that surrounds the city of L.A. 

They pull out onto the main road, Ryan keeps one hand on the wheel and his other finds it's way into Brendon's, fingers lacing together. His hand feeling warm against his cold one.

At this time of night, only a few cars are left, scattered along the rural highway on the side of a mountain, leaving Ryan with an uneasy feeling.

They are only about 10 minutes out before a familiar grumble in Ryan's abdomen starts, followed by a tremor, causing Ryan to swerve the car, reminding him that he can't go without satisfying his blood thirst for as long as he does.

The jolt of the car wakes Brendon conscious as he had dozed off from earlier. He looks over at Ryan with clear concern, knowing his situation. 

It was early in their relationship when Ryan decided to tell Brendon he was a vampire. Ryan knew what his type was capable of, even though he wasn't exactly the most clear cut example of them, but never the less, he didn't want to hurt Brendon unintentionally and wanted to give him a chance to leave before it would hurt too much. Sure enough, Brendon chose to stay, claiming it was nothing he couldn't handle. 

Ryan was never really much of a vampire mentality wise, though. He preyed off of the living to suffice his blood thirst and couldn't form a heartbeat, but he felt emotions like a human. He wanted to be amongst the breathing, he wanted to experience love. So he left his clan at the age of 19 and that's when he met Brendon.

"Ry are you alright, do you need to pull over?" Brendon squeezes Ryan's hand.

"I'll be okay, is there any left in the thermos," Ryan nods toward the bottle next to Brendon's feet.

Brendon reaches for it, unscrewing the cap and he meets Ryan's gaze, "all out".

"Damnit," Ryan curses, tightening his grip of the wheel, knuckles turning an inhuman shade of white.

"I-uh we could pull over, we don't-," Brendon stumbles over his words, panic and worry circling in his features.

"No, no that's okay," Ryan interrupts, quieting his voice in attempts to ease Brendon, "You need to get home, its late and you need sleep".

Brendon's uncertain eyes focus back on the road after that and he sinks further in his seat. If Ryan's stories are anything to go by, then Brendon knows what happens to a vampire when they go long enough without blood. Not that they have ever had a run in with it themselves, but they've been close.

In the beginning of their relationship, Ryan had been overly conscious of how it would come across if he returned home late at night with blood stains soaked into his clothes, even when Brendon knew. So Ryan went a total of 2 weeks without blood before his entire body convulsed and the world went black. 

Brendon heard the thud of Ryan's body fall to the floor and wasted no time grabbing a kitchen blade and lacerating a deep cut into his palm, letting almost a pint of the red liquid spill into a glass.

Ever since, Brendon will regularly check in with Ryan, making sure that he's eaten, and Ryan won't ever let it happen again. Won't have Brendon hurting himself because of his own stupid mistake. Every time that he sees the scar on Brendon's hand, he's reminded of the monster that he is.

Ryan has to try hard to focus on the road ahead, to not let his vision go double, to keep the lines where they are supposed to be. He blinks twice too fast, and Brendon glances over, his eyebrows furrowed and the lines on his forehead drawn up and visible. But he takes a deep breath, taking a sharp inhale of air before exhaling loosely. 

He can trust Ryan, he knows that he would never put him in a situation that he thinks would be unsafe. He can trust him.

Brendon tells himself this over and over again in his head, but before he can even finish the thought, the car is now in the other lane, and Ryan is..

There's a truck too, the head lights up ahead and Brendon's thoughts are muddled, clouded by sheer terror. 

Ryan is in the drivers seat, eyes dilated and hands clawing at his stomach. Brendon unbuckles his seat belt and launches himself towards the wheel, grabbing hold and attempting to swerve back in their lane. But it's too late.

As their car skids to the right, the oncoming semi hits them dead on. The car is in the air, and the impact of when it meets the ground jolts Brendon forward and he shields his arms in front of his head as he flies through the windshield.

There's no best way to describe it.

There's no best way to describe what it feels like when the one thing that made you want to live, is laying there lifeless in front of you.

A shrill noise fills Ryan's ears accompanied by a throbbing migraine. His eyes are only half lidded when he sees Brendon's body laying there tiny and broken. 

Panic bubbles up inside him as he tries to release the seatbelt. He clicks it over and over again but it doesn't budge. Ryan wraps his hands around it and rips it from the latch plate. Leaving yet another thing lifeless at his own hand.

Ryan pulls the car door handle and opens it an inch before a window of glass rains down on him. He does his best to protect his head but he can already feel sharp daggers penetrating his skin. It doesn't matter though, the only thing on his mind is Brendon.

He opens the door the rest of the way, which sounds a stiff creak. Ryan tries to stand as soon as he's free, but as if someone was pushing him to sit back down, he falls back, blood rushing to his head from being upside down due to the car being flipped.

He groans, a dull ache in his ribs. A few probably broke.

Finally Ryan wills himself to stand, this time his legs don't give out in front of him. You'd thought being a vampire would make you immortal. Except that Ryan was becoming vampire less and less each day. Substituting his vampire antics for human ones.

As soon as he's steadied himself, he's by Brendon's side within a blink. He kneels beside the boys limp body, wrapping his fingers around his wrist to check for a pulse. There was one.

Brendon coughed and opened his mouth. Blood trickled out, he smiled, teeth outlined in red, "I never knew what dying would feel like but it certainly wasn't this".

Ryan smiled at the sight of Brendon conscious. The boy smiled back but as soon as he did, he coughed again, more blood spurting up and Ryan's smile faded almost immediately. 

"Hey, hey," Ryan cooed, as he moved behind Brendon and pulled him into his lap, cradling his head so he wouldn't choke on his blood, "you aren't dying".

"Ryan," Brendon chokes on his breath, tears forming at his eyes.

"Baby you aren't dying, no you- no you're gonna be fine," Ryan cards his fingers soothingly through Brendon's hair, rubbing little circles, "everything's gonna be just fine".

"Ryan," Brendon says more sternly, trying to snap him back into reality and reaching for the hand that was smoothing slow strokes through his hair.

Ryan stops and makes eye contact with him for the first time.

And there it is.

In all of the muddled mess and confusion, Brendon can see it clear as day.

Guilt.

"Ry this isn't- oh god baby please don't," Ryan breaks down, cutting Brendon off and he cups Ryan's cheek, can feel his cold breath against it.

"I'm so sorry Bren, I love you and-," Brendon pulls Ryan down, wrapping his bruised limbs around the shaking boy as tight as he can, dismissing the pain.

"I love you too," he whispers in the shell of his ear, "I love you-".

And right after Brendon finishes the last word, tension from around Ryan's shoulders disappear, and a hand slips down his side. 

Ryan pulls back to look at the boy. His eyes glassed over and dark, not staring at Ryan anymore.

Not staring at anything.

Ryan inhales, choking on a sob and grabbing the boy's shoulders, shaking him, "Brendon," he cries, "Brendon wait wake up, please wake up".

He buries his head in his chest to calm himself, and after a moment he arises, taking Brendon's hand in his and kissing his knuckles, "wait here".

Ryan gracelessly crawls over to the wreck, and reaches for a large shard of glass from where Brendon was thrown.

Ryan rushes back, taking his place beside him again. 

He bends his head down, kissing Brendon before he goes in toward his neck, and sinks his fangs into the soft skin.

Every once in awhile Brendon would bring up the possibility of Ryan turning him. Ryan had explained to Brendon that he wouldn't wish that even on his enemy, but above all not Brendon. Brendon said it wouldn't matter as long as they were together and someday he would grow old like all humans do, while Ryan stayed the same. Never changing. But Ryan was persistent. 

Brendon didn't realize that becoming a vampire would mean giving your life away. Everything you know, just gone. Losing all human emotion. Losing the ability to love, of being loved. Ryan was different, but he was the rare casualty. He had always been that way, but it was unlikely Brendon would. 

If he turned Brendon, he'd lose him. 

Two fang marks are left on Brendon's skin when he pulls back. He doesn't even have to think when he brings the glass to his wrist, cutting a wide line. He winces through the pain, but doesn't stall when he pushes it past Brendon's lips.

It takes a moment but Ryan can feel blood no longer just spilling out, but rather being pulled out. 

Brendon's eyes are shut but his mouth is closed around Ryan's wrist and his hands reach up hungrily.

Ryan bites down on his lip and slowly closes his eyes, a single tear rolling down his cheek. 

So this was their end. 

Brendon would need all of his blood to compensate for it not being clean. He was ready to give him everything he had.

Ryan was feeling weaker with each second, his skin flushed and cheek bones hollowing. 

As Ryan was dying, Brendon was growing stronger. Color painted his skin and his eyes sprung open, black and animalistic. More and more blood leaving Ryan's body. 

He slowly lowered himself to the ground. His eyes fluttering open and he looked up at the sky. Pregnant clouds loomed above their heads and fat drops began to fall. 

Brendon moved on top of Ryan, straddling him. His predatory rationality began to overpower that of his human one.

The car had caught fire but other than that it's like nothing even happened. No strange pull of the earth or unexplained phenomena. The world didn't stop, but for Ryan, it had been ripped and torn in two.

Ryan took a deep breath, feeling the last of his life leave his body.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for taking the time to read this! This is my first one shot and fan fiction all together. If people enjoy my writing, I might make more in the future! Until next time x


End file.
